A few years ago S2 had a game called Savage- pretty interesting I thought. It was a FPS and RTS hybrid game but sold poorly. Now S2 is releasing a sequel and to maximize profits this time, they're only selling it online. Smart move... or does everyone prefer buying a pretty colored box?

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Date:	2005-11-07 23:38
Subject:	I am Sherlock Holmes
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

I was standing in line at Von's tonight, buying the last ingredients for a pad thai I'm making tomorrow. I looked down at the conveyor and the guy behind me was buying 12 roses wrapped in cellophane. After a moment he tossed some minty gum next to them. I'm thinking, I've got this guy's night all mapped out. Apologize to girlfriend then have a let's-make-up mash session with wintergreen-flavored breath. While I'm thinking this he's studying the candy display, puts the gum back and replaces it with Tic-Tacs. I feel totally vindicated. Can I call it or what?

Date:	2005-10-24 00:21
Subject:	some news
Security:	Public
Mood:	pleased

gamedaily.com gave a nice writeup of the segments I produce for AOL.

Also, there was a front-page article about my company, g-NET, in the LA times a few days ago.

Date:	2005-10-16 12:12
Subject:	soccer on a fine fall day
Security:	Public
Mood:	content

I drove into the valley yesterday for my weekly soccer game- I almost blew it off, because last week had kind of sucked and I was getting so exhausted playing that it wasn't much fun. I'm really glad I went though. This was the first time that the park really felt like Fall. The trees had shed a lot of leaves and it made walking around crunchy. The temperature was much cooler than normal, especially for the valley which is notoriously hot- there was a just enough air moving to make it more than a breeze but not quite windy. Above was an amazing cerulean blue, with shreds of high wispy clouds piling up towards the dome of the sky. It makes me think of autumns in Indiana, a season I always love there. I played better too- I realized that it's the heat and humidity that make it so hard to keep my endurance going. In the cool air I felt scads better. I can't really express well the sheer pleasure of being outside yesterday- it's one of those experiential gifts of the moment that you find yourself in the middle of, and you just have to soak it in and appreciate it.

Date:	2005-10-11 15:35
Subject:	demo is done!
Security:	Public
Mood:	artistic

Major milestone: last Friday I recorded my voiceover demo. My instructor Nancy booked a studio in Hollywood and I headed there late afternoon. The place was small and cool, with large bolts of fabric hanging from all the walls; made things kind of Stevie Nicks-like. We did about seven ads, I think. Dell XPS, Schwab, a cancer spot (yes, that's why), Pizza Hut - the Pizza Hut one was remarkably hard - some others.

In about two weeks I'll get a CD master, then I'll get some artwork designed for the jewel insert. I did my first VO gig back in 2001, when I was jobless and decided to go to an audition in Brisbane on a lark- it's taken four years to get a demo made. It feels good to have completed this step; I need to remember this sensation.

Now I have to find an agent- that's a whole other ball of wax. But this part's in the can. That's cool.

Date:	2005-09-20 22:01
Subject:	inside joke
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Sabrina, hit refresh... now!

My roommate (who I always feel compelled to give a fair shake to by prefacing all my comments about her with a "...who is a Very Nice Person...") came home this afternoon and announced, "I cleaned the apartment yesterday! Didn't I do an awesome job?" I said yes, she did do a great job and I really appreciated her doing all that work. Thing is, when my roommate cleans, nothing winds up getting clean. What she will do is apply all the Comet or Soft Scrub or whatever and... leave it there. This goes for the tub, the toilet, the kitchen and bathroom sinks, countertops and tile. So there's a whitish patina covering it all with streak marks all over everything. This weekend I turned on the water to have a shower, and when I stepped into the tub all the soap scum remover reconstituted into a pasty gritty mess on the bottom of my feet. I don't know what they use to kill soap scum with but I'll bet that the skin on my feet is no match for it.

So I told her that I sure did appreciate it when she cleans but that what she does isn't, technically speaking, cleaning. She explained that the cleaner needs to soak into everything in order to work. I agree with this; soaking a stain makes it easier to remove. But I've read those cleaning instructions. They say "apply, then wipe". Sometimes they say, "For stubborn stains, apply, allow to soak for several minutes, and wipe. Repeat." and that's the standard to which the cleaning companies themselves hold their product. If they let their labels read, "For stubborn stains, apply liberally, allow to soak for several days until a streaky paste forms (NOTE: during this time soaked surfaces will not be suitable by use for anyone with first-world living standards or, alternately, persons who have completed a remedial course in basic housekeeping), then return, apply warm water, scrub, scrub, scrub, rinse and rinse. Check for presence of stain, declare victory, and retreat."

My main point was that something is clean only once the cleaner is no longer there. I think she heard me.

Date:	2005-05-31 09:35
Subject:	Of Sundays, iPods, and Money
Security:	Public
Mood:	chipper
Music:	Godnight My Love

I phoned up Wells Fargo today to try and resolve this money issue I had about four years ago- a ring of fraudsters passed a bunch of checks through my business account and absconded with over four grand. I'm talking with the rep and she mentions I have a savings account that was never closed. I thought, that's peculiar- it doesn't show up on the website when I log in to look at my balances. So using the site I searched for this missing account and added it to my regular page. Reload the page, check the balances, and guess what? There's another five thousand bucks staring right back at me. The first thing I did was think, "This will be the perfect jump start for my down payment fund!" The second thing I did was go onto Apple's website and buy an iPod Photo. I really am going to save the rest of it though. Now, besotted with wealth, I'm off to the gym.

A brief update: Christy and I called it quits. Well, to be specific, I called it quits. Our relationship was pretty unbalanced; she was definitely the pursuer. I do like her and we always had a fun time hanging out, but I wasn't feeling any real chemistry and it was becoming clear it wouldn't be right to let it drag out. I hope she's doing okay- actually before I forget, I promised her I'd take a photo of these palm trees on my street and send it to her. It's a group of three that have all grown up at the same time and when you look at them from the right angle, they make the shape of a perfect heart. I call it "El Corazon" which proves I have a thorough grasp of tokenistic Spanish.

Work-wise, this past week has been a doozy. E3, the world's biggest videogame tradeshow, wrapped up on Friday. It's like the Super Bowl for anyone involved in the gaming sector. I've been a few times now, but this was the first time I was field producing and running my own crew there. I kept bumping into folks from the old network and saying hi, and every conversation ended the same: "Hey, I gotta run- I'm producing this crew and we've got a lot to shoot." :) I loved the sound of that. And after so many years of being an under-appreciated PA, it was really gratifying to finally be in charge: deciding what we'd shoot, shot composition, directing talent, interviewing people, coordinating the schedule. I have no real right to complain though- working at X-Play taught me everything I needed. Without everything that happened there, there's no chance in hell I'd be doing this now. I guess it's the non-professional aspects of working there that still sting a bit. Time to get over that crap though.

So the current debate is whether or not I'm actually going to play soccer today. I've spent the past 3 days getting up early for E3, taking hour-long commutes downtown, and being on my feet for around 10 hours/day. Soccer may be too ambitious... and despite this week's general unruliness, my diet is still working. I've lost 6 pounds now. Totally stoked.

Date:	2005-02-19 09:57
Subject:	...and I'm out
Security:	Public
Mood:	contemplative
Music:	Give Me Novacaine

Well, it's over and done with. Yesterday was my last day at G4 and Wednesday I start at g-net as their newest segment producer. My last day was pretty good. People came up to me and wished me well, said how much they'd miss having me around, wondering what was going to happen to the Voice now that I was leaving (I recorded my final VOs for the show.) I went to lunch with Adam & Morgan at Lemon Moon next door. Shane, Matt and I hung around near my cube and had some laughs (the concept: a gaming system for hillbilly racists: the Ku Klux Konsole) Blair wrote me a really nice message and I handed out several good-bye notes of my own. After work, I headed over to the Arsenal and got completely shattered with several G4 and TechTV friends- I had a terrific time. Karsten drove me home around midnight and my car is still parked behind the bar. I have to get a ride over there to fetch it.

It was difficult to finally leave my cube. I kept lingering there looking at it, cleared of all my personal and work effects... maybe the fact that it felt so comfortable is more proof that it's time to move on. g-net seems to have a good reputation among everyone who knows them and I'm certain it'll seem like home before too long. I'll just expect to feel somewhat unsettled for a couple weeks before things become more routine.

Today (on X-Play!) is birthday celebrations with Steve, and Joanne, Christy, and others, and bowling, and hopefully a bonfire at the beach if the weather holds.

There's so much stuff going on, but I can't start talking about it yet. Soon... very soon now... here's a hint: "Success is the best revenge." Muhahaha! Can't wait, I just can't wait. This better not jinx it.

Date:	2004-11-15 01:03
Subject:	tide pools and comedy
Security:	Public
Mood:	mellow
Music:	Uncle F**ka - Terrance and Phillip

Full weekend. Saturday morning I had a VO audition over the phone and did well- it's basically between me and another guy who's more experienced but is probably union. Then a phone call with the patent attorney that took about an hour. In the afternoon I drive to Malibu to explore some tide pools - it was one of the lowest tides of the year, I found out. Saturday night was Guy from Unscrewed hosting the Brent Weinbach show in North Hollywood. The venue, Cal Institute for the Abnormal Arts, was incredible. It was like a cross between a haunted house and a circus freakshow. Today I played some pool with Steve and did more patent work. Ran into Cat at the office when I came in to check something; she was prepping for a three-hour pitch meeting Monday. Eurgh. Glad it's not me. I hate to sit for that long.

Date:	2004-11-11 23:49
Subject:	it's official
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

Unscrewed got sacked today, and over half of Screen Savers. That leaves just X-Play as the only show to go unscathed. Some G4 shows got trashed too I hear. Morale is pretty low and few people have any confidence in the leadership of the network.

I found out today that a lot of people I know are all going to lose their jobs. I feel concerned for how everyone will land on their feet, but for selfish reasons, I'm also hoping some of them will want to stay in touch even though we won't be working together any longer. That whole out-of-sight-out-of-mind thing.

Que sera sera, certainly.

Date:	2004-10-27 22:43
Subject:	history made
Security:	Public
Mood:	good

I logged an entire tape of Time Crisis gameplay and wound up with a splitting headache for my troubles. As I was on my way out, I ran into Josette and she invited me out to watch the end of the big Boston/St. Louis game. We had a drink at Rick's on Main St in Santa Monica and witnessed the breaking of the Red Sox curse, then went to an Irish pub to eat. We had a good time talking. It feels so good to actually go out on a weeknight, especially a last-minute surprise like that.

Date:	2004-10-26 20:41
Subject:	well well
Security:	Public
Mood:	calm

Out of nowhere, I got contacted by a patent attorney in Palo Alto. Her client (more than likely, a former competitor of mine) is trying to disprove some claims made in patent application by another company, and it has something to do with bookmarks. So she wants to hire me as a consultant to her prior art research- if things work out I think I can get $200/hour. It's just like going back in time to the tech boom. If I can get this gig it'll be the only money I'll ever see from the entire itList thing, I'm sure.

Date:	2004-10-02 22:17
Subject:	Delicatessen is on
Security:	Public
Mood:	mellow
Music:	Are We the Waiting / St. Jimmy

This is a really good movie. I don't know who the lead is but he's memorably ugly. The woman has that look where she's young now but sort of looks old already.

Busy weekend! Friday night was the Happy Hour Housewarming party for me. Saturday I spent the day playing Virtua Quest for work, and that night Greg, Steve and I went to Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles for dinner which was TERRIFIC, then saw Hero at the Arclight. We cruised Vine afterwards, then swung by the La Brea Tar Pits.

Today has been Anarchy Online: Alien Invasion all friggin' day long. I barely got anything good too- that game is real complicated. I'm not a big massively-multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) fan.

Last night Steve and I had what I think was our first fight. It was about taking care of his newly-fractured neck. I'm heading over there in a few minutes but I'm sure things'll be fine. Tonight is Greg D's birthday so maybe we'll all get some drinks at Primativo, this wine bar they frequent for the hot women.

Today is Mardi Gras. Today is also unique in that my doctor told me she thinks I have cancer.

I had an ultrasound at the California Pacific Medical Center on Webster St. today. For a couple months I'd noticed that my testicles felt different; it seemed one had shrunk a bit while the other had gotten larger. They were more sensitive too and their firmness had changed (one more firm, the other less so.) I went to my doctor and after an exam she told me to have an ultrasound done. When I left the hospital today, the tech said he'd send over the pictures to my doctor and I should expect a report in 3 days or so. I left and came back to the office, and before I really sat down in my cube, my doctor phoned me. She said they had sent everything over as soon as they could and to her, it looked like it was probably testicular cancer. She told me that it's very treatable and has a high cure rate and "if you're going to get cancer, this is the one you want" because the prognosis is usually good. She said it probably won't kill me and probably won't ruin my life but it needs to be taken care of right away.

I was very emotional for the first half-hour or so, then work and all the things I needed to do helped calm me down. My boss was very gentle and supportive, which felt weird but I was grateful for. I phoned my family to tell them, and called Leslie. I need to talk to some other people too. I'm going out to dinner with Steve tonight; I called him up and said, "Hey, we're going out tonight, and I'm buying!" and he's all like, what's the special occasion? Don't worry, I assured him, it's bad news. We're planning on going to Suriya, one of our favorite places and some of the best Thai in the city. They introduced me to pumpkin curry.

Back to the elephant in the corner. I am upset somewhere inside but I can't quite get at it right now. Probably at the urologist's tomorrow, and at varying unpredictable moments for the foreseeable future. I'm also somewhat woozy/lightheaded, but that may be hunger (I had a late lunch of breakfast cereal and am getting pretty hungry now.)

More later, I'm sure.

Date:	2004-02-21 18:00
Subject:	old books
Security:	Public
Mood:	nostalgic
Music:	Devil May Care - Diana Krall

While going through a bunch of book boxes to sell (I'm tired of lugging around so much crap everywhere), I came across my old copy of Unix for the Impatient. It feels so weird to sell it- I've had the thing since before I graduated and it was almost like my geeky security blanket. I need to say goodbye to a lot of things though, this is just what that feels like.

And my first edition Essential System Administration, with all my yellow highlighter marks inside! I can't tell if it feels long ago or not when I was reading it voraciously, memorizing everything (or trying to). It was such a different time in my life-